Laughs For Sale featuring Louis Nye, Paul Winchell and Shecky Greene (1963)

Hollywood Squares with celebrity contestants Carl Reiner, Buddy Hackett and Shecky Greene (1972)

Combat feauring Shecky Greene and special guest star Dick Bakalynn (1962)

An Interview with Shecky Greene - Part Two

                  Danny Thomas          Jack Carter         Shecky Greene

Shecky Greene: Haven't heard from you in a while.

Kliph Nesteroff: Well, I've been working diligently on this article and now I've got to the point where I've gone as far as I can - and now I have to fill in some of the holes.

Shecky Greene: I felt that way about my first marriage!

Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs)

Shecky Greene: And there was one hole I wish I didn't fill in at all.

Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs) I was thrilled to hear that you did some shows in Vegas last month.

Shecky Greene: Yes at the South Point. It went wonderful. They celebrated my eighty-fifth birthday, they had a cake with eighty-five candles and they served champagne to everybody.

Kliph Nesteroff: Well, I wish I could have seen the show. It's a rare occurrence to see a Shecky Greene performance these days.

Shecky Greene: (In Gabby Hayes voice) Well, you git to a certain age - it gits kinda tough, ah hee hee! I feel like Gabby Hayes' brother. "Hi there, Roy! Whatcha gonna do there?" So what holes are we filling in?

Kliph Nesteroff: I came across some new information that I did not know about. One thing I read said you were a semi-pro ball player...

Shecky Greene: No, never.

Kliph Nesteroff: The other item said that between playing ball you were doing gigs with comedian Sammy Shore.

Shecky Greene: Sammy Shore and I started together at a resort and that was it. We didn't go any further than that.

Kliph Nesteroff: As a comedy team?

Shecky Greene: Yes, we went up there like social directors. I was in college at the time and I went up there with some people. The guy asked me to work there. Sammy was there and we worked together a while.

Kliph Nesteroff: Was this markedly different material than what you would go on to do?

Shecky Greene: Well, working with two as opposed to one... Sammy wanted to be the comic [and I was straight man]. It was just a cockamamie thing for the summer. I would sing Nature Boy. "There waaassss a boy..." Except with that Jewish audience I did, "There waaassss a goy..." That kind of shit.

Kliph Nesteroff: And then Sammy Shore would interject while you were doing this...

Shecky Greene: Sammy Shore would dress up in a diaper and come out with vegetables and he was the nature boy. There was no act. Some lady grabbed us and she wanted to be a manager. She had us go to New York together. The thing that broke us up was I got infectious mononucleosis and he wouldn't come into the room to give me a glass of water (laughs). That was the end of it. The bellboy came and gave me the water - so I teamed up with him.

Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs) I read that you enrolled at the University of Illinois to get a degree in physical education...

Shecky Greene: Yeah, well, I enrolled there, but I didn't go there. I went to Reich Junior College. All the guys I knew went to University of Illinois. I was the only one that didn't graduate college of all the guys I was with. I was going to Reich Junior College until I went to this place and saw Sammy. I just saw Sammy Shore in Las Vegas. He just came to see me.

Kliph Nesteroff: Last time we talked about that famous incident with your joke about trapped miners that you told on The Ed Sullivan Show. But I was wondering if you recall what the joke was specifically.

Shecky Greene: Sure! What happened was... have you got a tape? Every time someone calls me they misquote me.

Kliph Nesteroff: Yes, of course, I'm recording this whole thing.

Shecky Greene: Okay. Let me tell you exactly what happened. I went to do the Sullivan show and he said to me, "Sheckeeee, we don't have no eight minutes for yoooooo.... you're going to do two minutes." I said, "Ed, there's nothing I can do in two minutes." You know? So I said, "Okay." What I did was I took the microphone apart. I used to do a routine where I took the microphone apart and every piece of the microphone I would do something with. I turned the microphone upside down and pretended I was talking to miners buried beneath tons and tons of coal and I said, "You weren't hurt. It was soft coal." That type of thing. But at the same time that I was doing that there was a mine disaster in Nova Scotia - because this was a live show at that time. So, as I walked off the stage he said, "You dirty bastard! You just lost me Canada." I didn't know what the hell he was talking about. Turns out I was doing that routine just as these guys had been buried under tons and tons of coal. So, I sent my entire salary to Nova Scotia and I didn't eat lox for a while. There's a joke in there someplace.

Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs) Were you on at the start of the show - the end of the show - did this effect other acts or...

Shecky Greene: I don't know where I was in that show, I don't remember. I didn't follow the elephants because there was no shit on the bottom of my shoe. Sullivan reamed me out as I was walking off. He was coming back on as I finished. I never did well on the Sullivan show. I don't know why. I never prepared for it. I wasn't the kind of guy who sat down and prepared and got myself ready like these comics do today with every word. Later on I learned, and I tell kids today, be prepared. Be prepared and don't count on your mind that it's going to be there all the time.

Kliph Nesteroff: Well, you were really in your element when you would appear on Johnny Carson - where you had that freedom to just go off in any direction.

Shecky Greene: Yes, but the best show for me was The Merv Griffin Show. I was free-er on The Merv Griffin Show. Johnny, as much as liked him and everything, was very stiff. You had to always worry about, "Is Johnny going to laugh at this?" Who gives a shit now, you know, as you look back at it now. But not with Merv. Merv was really the best.

Kliph Nesteroff: I watched a very funny episode of The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson where the guests were yourself and Sammy Davis Jr and at one point they come back from the commercial and you and Sammy have switched jackets. He's in this giant, over-sized sportscoat and you're in this painfully tight suit jacket of Sammy's. It was very funny.

Shecky Greene: I don't remember that. He sang out the side of his mouth (sings like Sammy Davis Jr. for two minutes). I do great impressions of guys that died.

Kliph Nesteroff: Well, that's all that Rich Little does. Richard Nixon, John Wayne...

Shecky Greene: Rich Little is sensational and Frank Gorshin was sensational.

Kliph Nesteroff: I read that your mother used to attend most of your shows early on.

Shecky Greene: No, that was Rickles' mother. My mother didn't attend most of my shows. My mother came to some shows, but Rickles mother was the one that was there all the time. They've got our mothers mixed up.

Kliph Nesteroff: Phil Berger wrote that back in your New Orleans days you ran down Bourbon Street in an ape suit.

Shecky Greene: In a what suit?

Kliph Nesteroff: Dressed as a gorilla.

Shecky Greene: Uh, that could be. I never knew what I was doing, but in New Orleans I wasn't really drinking in those days. I didn't drink until later on when I married my first wife and she was a drunk - then I became a drunk. Yes, I worked with a guy who used to do a gorilla act, an English ventriloquist. It could be something to do with that.

Kliph Nesteroff: At Billy Gray's Band Box on Fairfax Avenue in Los Angeles, Buddy Hackett would come in and sabotage your act "with misplaced laughs."

Shecky Greene: Yes, he would do that. My mother just happened to be there in California at that time and she said to me, "Oh, that little fat guy loves you!" I said, "No, mom, he's ruining me by intentionally laughing in the wrong place!" But Buddy and I became very close friends. As a matter of fact, my mother was in a nursing home and she couldn't lift her head up and she couldn't speak. I would go in everyday and she couldn't recognize me. I took Buddy Hackett with me one day and he said, "Hiya, Bess! How are ya!" My mom lifted up her head and said, "Hiya, Buddy!" I was in a fucking state of shock! So every time I went to visit my mother after that I would do an impression of Buddy Hackett.

Kliph Nesteroff: You said previously that you and Buddy became great friends, but he also did terrible things to you.

Shecky Greene: Well, Buddy was... there's a word in Jewish culture called "dybbuk." He was like the devil. You never knew what was going to happen with Buddy. Buddy had the magnificent ability to say things and hurt people very badly and then in two seconds get them back by saying, "Y'know something? Sometimes I say things I don't mean..." and he'd get tears in his eyes and they'd [forgive him]. But Buddy was a brilliant comedian.

Kliph Nesteroff: Since the last time we spoke, I have talked at length with Jack Carter.

Shecky Greene: (laughs)

Kliph Nesteroff: Jack said, and he wasn't joking, that he believes Buddy Hackett walked out to the beach and committed suicide. I hadn't heard that theory from anybody else. Do you believe that?

Shecky Greene: No. No chance. No, no, no, no, no. My God, does Jack really feel that way?

Kliph Nesteroff: Yes.

Shecky Greene: No, no, no, no, no. No. Let me tell you. He was in a depressed state. I will say that. He was on pills. He took anxiety pills and as a matter of fact I was on the same ones. I said to Buddy, "You can't take them and drink at the same time!" I asked the doctor when he died. "Did it kill him? Taking the anxiety pills with the drinking?" The doctor said, "Definitely not." He had trouble with his heart, anyway. He just had a heart attack. I will tell you... Buddy had too much of an ego to commit suicide. There's no way. There was no way. He would no more commit suicide than Jack Carter would commit suicide!

Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs)

Shecky Greene: (laughs)

Kliph Nesteroff: Well, I had to ask you as it was a striking comment for Jack to make. We spoke last time about Martha Raye and her Five O'Clock Club. I found a tidbit somewhere in which you mentioned that she used to steal your bits.

Shecky Greene: Well, you know, the word steal is a terrible thing. She used to take. Let me tell you, Martha Raye was a singer and Martha Raye ended up doing comedy in the movies and everything because she had a funny face. She worked a lot like Berle. If you go back and watch anything with Milton Berle and Martha Raye, you'll see that identification. The looks [she gave] like Berle. She wasn't a comedienne, she basically was a singer. So consequently when they opened up this place, The Five O'Clock Club, they brought in comedians and she would take their stuff. I would come back to work with her and the bandleader would say, "Don't do your 'French' routine. She's doing it." Well, it was my routine! But it fit her because it was a song and so and so. I said, "You know, if you people want me to write for her... I'll write for her!" You know? Because every time I came back to work there they'd say, "No. She's doing that now." The word steal is... it is stealing, but it's kind of cruel to say. She took. A lady takes. A guy steals.

Kliph Nesteroff: You told me a very funny story about working The Copa with Nat King Cole...

Shecky Greene: Oh, when I wouldn't let him go on?

Kliph Nesteroff: Exactly. But I also read that you later played another date with Nat King Cole at the Chez Paree in Chicago and I was wondering if there was ever any fallout....

Shecky Greene: No, I played with him at the Chez Paree before - that's the whole reason I went with him to The Copa.

Kliph Nesteroff: Ah, I see. Was there any bad blood after The Copa incident...

Shecky Greene: We were very close friends and one day he came to The Tropicana where I was working, stood right in front of the stage and said, "I want to apologize to you." Nat King Cole was probably... there were two black men in my life that I was in love with. One was Nat King Cole and the other was Billy Eckstine. Two of the finest human beings, beside being great entertainers. And Billy was the best. Nat was just, I can't tell ya how great Nat was.

Kliph Nesteroff: You were on an early show with Elvis...

Shecky Greene: Elvis was my opening act in 1956 at The Last Frontier in Las Vegas. I never did a television show with Elvis.

Kliph Nesteroff: When he opened for you... his act didn't really go over - or he didn't do too well?

Shecky Greene: You know, they keep on writing bullshit about that and make me look like a... Elvis Presley was just coming off of records. Elvis Presley was not prepared to go into a nightclub. Write that down! "Was. Not. Prepared." They just took this celebrity... he had Hound Dog and Blue Suede Shoes. They put a seventy-five foot cut-out of him in front of the hotel. The audience at that time, that went to places like this, didn't really know Elvis Presley. The kids did ... The college kids and the high school kids did. So, consequently... and he didn't have any of that fancy stuff he wore. He had a baseball jacket on, came out, and he played like a lounge act. Later on I said to Colonel Parker, "You've got to dress this kid." So they went over to see Liberace. Liberace put him in these fancy clothes. Okay? But Elvis Presley - they say he bombed [at The Last Frontier]. 

Well, he bombed with that audience. But then one afternoon Parker packed it with the high school and college kids... and you couldn't get near that place! So that was his audience. Later on as he worked, he had all these goddamn outfits and everything and he became big in Vegas. It's a paradox. The whole story is a paradox. Was he good - was he not? He was not good for what he did at The Frontier Hotel. He wasn't prepared for it. He took the job because of his celebrity. But I'll tell you one thing. He was probably one of the nicest human beings I have ever met. I don't know what happened to him later on, because when you become a shut-in... and that's what you become when you're that big, you can go fucking crazy.

Kliph Nesteroff: Something that Jack Carter related to me was about his wedding. You were at his wedding. Corbett Monica was also at that wedding. And that you threw a cake at Corbett Monica.

Shecky Greene: He's a liar. He's a liar. I brought a cake. I never threw a cake at Corbett Monica. No. Corbett Monica was a kid that I put in show business and I may have been a little angry with him. I was the one who sent him to do the Mountains and everything else and then he started to do whatever material I did because he used to watch me all the time in St. Louis. But I never threw a cake at Corbett Monica. My friend Jack Carter has got a wonderful mind, but he takes liberties at times. It sounds much better that i threw a cake at him. Tell Jack Carter, if you see him, it was not a cake. It was a pie! I know Rickles was there, but I don't even remember Corbett Monica being there. I didn't stay either. I went up and I gave the cake and I left.

Kliph Nesteroff: February 1961, according to a newspaper column, you and Don Rickles were in the audience heckling Jerry Lester at Slate Brothers.

Shecky Greene: Never. Never. I was never with Don Rickles in all the years. We never went out together. Never. Slate Brothers? Jerry Lester and I were very close friends... I never even knew that Jerry Lester worked The Slate Brothers. I would not heckle a performer for all the money in the world... but when Rickles was working Florida, I went in with Sinatra and they were throwing cake... you know, you've got all the stories mixed together. They were throwing cake on the stage at Rickles at The Eden Roc. Then I got up onstage with Rickles and smeared the cake all over me - because I felt bad. That's what I did.

Kliph Nesteroff: What do you remember about Jerry Lester? His fame kind of peaked in the early fifties with his TV show - and then it was a steady decline into obscurity.

Shecky Greene: Jerry Lester did a terrible thing. He tried to make demands on NBC and they just plucked him out. But his show was one of the forerunners of all of that shit; Broadway Open House. I think his ego got the best of him. Jerry and I were very, very close friends and I loved him. The ego got the best of him. Little by little he went into Alzheimer's in the end and it was tragic what happened with his career. He was signed by NBC and he had a contract and I guess they just paid it off. It was tragic. He had Dagmar on the show and it was interesting.

Kliph Nesteroff: That was the bone of contention, right? NBC started to push his co-star Dagmar more than Jerry Lester and when she eclipsed him... that cause big problems...

Shecky Greene: I think the publicity in general... I don't know whether NBC did it. I think the magazines and the papers and everything picked up on Dagmar because of her big tits. In vaudeville that was a thing. To have a girl with big tits and you'd play off of that. That particular thing with Dagmar and Jerry, it was like a little burlesque sketch. But yes. They picked up on that and I think it bothered him, yes.

Kliph Nesteroff: I had heard a story, years ago, that when Dagmar made the front cover of Life Magazine - that's when Jerry hit the roof.

Shecky Greene: Oh, probably. I didn't know that, but I could imagine it. I think I would have too! First I would have hit her tits and then I would have hit the roof.

Kliph Nesteroff: Here's something from a Louella Parsons column. "November 1956. Lucky comedian Shecky Greene has been signed by Bing Crosby to appear at the famous Pebble Beach Golf Tournament."

Shecky Greene: I never knew it was in [a Louella Parsons column] but I was signed to do Pebble Beach and I did a lot of shows with Bing Crosby. Bing Crosby was one of my great loves. Every time I hear someone knock Bing Crosby and say he was this and he was that... I mean, I only saw the best in him. I was with him when he did charities and he did charities that people never heard about. Building hospitals and stuff like that. You heard about the Danny Thomases and things like that, but Bing did things far and above. Yes, I did Pebble Beach. I never even knew that Louella Parsons did that... that's nice. I did a lot of shows with Bing. And Phil Harris. The two of them. Phil Harris was unbelievable. I said to Bing Crosby one day... as a matter of fact it was at Pebble Beach and it was raining and I was in the hotel. He said to me,  "Bubbabubaboo boobaa booobaa boe boe boe boe." I had to translate it. He said, "Why aren't you watching the golf?" I said, "I hate golf." Which actually I didn't. Anyway, later on Phil Harris said (in Phil Harris voice) "Jesus Christ! What the hell did you say to the old man? I think he's pissed!"

Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs)

Shecky Greene: (laughs) Yeah, I loved him.

Kliph Nesteroff: Did you ever...

Shecky Greene: The reason I got close with Bing was because I was close with his kid Gary. Bing wanted me around Gary so I could watch Gary and make sure he didn't get drunk and do all the things he did, but I did it all worse than Gary - which Bing didn't know about.

Kliph Nesteroff: I just watched an episode of The Phil Silvers Show the other day in which Gary Crosby and all of his brothers appear. Did you ever drink with Phil Harris?

Shecky Greene: I never really ever drank with Phil Harris. I mean, I sat with Phil Harris when he had a drink, but he really wasn't that... he wasn't that much a drunk or anything. And Bing never drank. Bing was a drinker way, way long time ago, but Bing didn't drink at all. It bothered him about the kid. All of those kids are gone. They all died. One of the twins committed suicide, Dennis... Phil was the last one to die... it's just such a crime.

Kliph Nesteroff: Something else I came across was a blurb about an ill-fated TV show that featured yourself, Hal March and Phil Foster called Laughs For Sale.

Shecky Greene: Uh, yeah, well, that show was on a while. I wasn't the star or anything. I just did it a couple of times. Somebody just sent me a tape of that.

Kliph Nesteroff: What was it exactly?

Shecky Greene: It was... it was... a bad show (laughs). It was not good.

Kliph Nesteroff: But what was...

Shecky Greene: I had a success with Combat. Combat was... they wanted me and they kept on... I was basically the one who really sold Combat.

Kliph Nesteroff: Really?

Shecky Greene: I was working Vegas and I didn't want to give up Vegas to just do Combat. I did the right thing. It was bullshit. I was in the Navy in the second World War, so I saw action, but I didn't see as much action in the Navy as I saw in Combat.

Kliph Nesteroff: But how many episodes of Combat did you do? Something like ten - and then you moved on?

Shecky Greene: Yeah, something like that. I walked from the backlot to the frontlot... we had one scene that was very hot. Sitting in the truck. The director, Bob Kennedy, kept on saying, "Vic, do you want to do that over again?" Finally I said, "Fuck this! Do it over again?" And I walked off. I walked to the front lot and I said, "I want to quit." He said, "Don't do that, please! We're going to get you your own show." He really saved NBC with that show and General Hospital. It was the same guy who had both shows and he said to me, "Please. Don't go. You'll get your own show eventually." I said, "I don't want it!" I wanted to hide! I didn't want to be with all the bullshit. Big star bullshit never meant anything to me.

Kliph Nesteroff: Shecky, another thing I read was that in 1965 you were signed to do a TV pilot for Universal called Kelly's Kingdom...

Shecky Greene: I did that.

Kliph Nesteroff: You played a butcher that takes on the US government?

Shecky Greene: No, no, no, no. Henry Morgan played the butcher. I played his brother-in-law.

Kliph Nesteroff: Harry Morgan or Henry Morgan?

Shecky Greene: Harry Morgan. Henry Morgan was one guy and the actor was also Henry Morgan and he changed his name to Harry Morgan. Kelly's Kingdom was a terrible, terrible pilot. I did three pilots and they're all bad. I did This is a Hospital for Columbia - Screen Gems. It was terrible. Yeah, I was not for that world. I was good to do nightclubs and to hide away.

Kliph Nesteroff: I didn't ask you about the famous story last time, but I must get you to tell it to in your own words because many accounts of it exist - all from the mouths of other people. But what do you remember about that famous time you crashed your car into the Caesar's Palace fountain - and do you remember anything about the lead-up to that famous moment?

Shecky Greene: Yes. I was completely drunk. I had finished work. I was completely insane. I forget what time it was in the morning. The gave me my car. They always gave me my car when I was drunk because they loved to see what was going to happen.

Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs)

Shecky Greene: I mean that couldn't possibly happen today. You couldn't drive down The Strip like that, but I was driving about one hundred miles an hour. I hit a post. They had just put in breakaway posts the week before. If that other type of post was there I would have been dead. The post broke in two, went across my car, I lost control, swerved across the street, hit two signs and went right into the fountains. And that's a true story. And when the cops came I said, "No spray wax."

Kliph Nesteroff: Right. The famous joke. Was there any fallout or retribution for all of that?

Shecky Greene: Yeah. I had to get a new car. But you want to know something? There really wasn't. In those days we had a different situation in Vegas. Everybody was close. They would just talk to the sheriff's office and that was the end of that. I never even got a ticket. The only thing I felt bad about was, in the back of the car, I had a football signed by the Green Bay Packers who had just won the Super Bowl. Somebody, when they took my car away, stole the football. That's the only thing I felt bad about. But it seems like everything bad I did, turned into a joke. Something I still use in the act.

Kliph Nesteroff: Now was that "No spray wax" joke something you came up with or did Buddy Hackett originally come up with that line?

Shecky Greene: You wanna know something? Buddy Hackett initially told the joke. "My friend Shecky had the accident..." and he told the joke. He called me and told me and I started using it immediately. But that's the kind of humor that Buddy had.

Kliph Nesteroff: About one year ago you were onstage in Las Vegas and Jerry Lewis was in the audience. You said something directed at him that caused a stir and resulted in you having to issue an apology...

Shecky Greene: Well, I don't want to... please don't. Let's not get involved in that again.

Kliph Nesteroff: Okay.

Shecky Greene: No, that's a terrible thing to [talk about] and it was a terrible thing for me to say. Jerry was very much of a man and a gentleman and I went to see him [the following week] and everything was [forgiven].

Kliph Nesteroff: I am not totally clear on what...

Shecky Greene: No, I'm not going to say what it was or what it wasn't that I said.

Kliph Nesteroff: No, but was it a result of something that happened between you two in the past, a long time ago...

Shecky Greene: Yes. Yes.

Kliph Nesteroff: The other thing I wanted to ask you about was the Bernie Madoff debacle...

Shecky Greene: Yes. Yes. Lost a fortune, oh, yes. I just fell into the trap with everyone else. I mean, brighter men than I did it.

Kliph Nesteroff: Bob Hope proclaimed himself "Shecky Greene's number one fan."

Shecky Greene: We had a very, very close relationship. Bob once flew in from Iowa. He phoned me. He said, "What time do you go on? Hold the show. I'll be there." I said, "What do you mean you'll be here?" He said, "I'll go to the Air Force. They'll get me a plane and fly me in." He flew into Chicago and he got onstage with me. He used to come onstage with me quite a bit. Yes, Bob Hope was another one. Like Crosby, you know? They both were a little cheap, but I guess that's from their background too. But Bob was something else.

Kliph Nesteroff: I read that you used to attend dinner parties at the home of Groucho Marx.

Shecky Greene: Never. Never. Groucho once got up and said that I was the greatest comic entertainer he had ever seen onstage. But of course by that time he was one hundred and twenty-two years old. I wish he would have said it when he was sixty! He said (in Groucho voice), "I want to tell you folks and I mean this in all sincerity..." and he got up, you know, wearing that hat. Then the newspapers grabbed that and it was nice.

Kliph Nesteroff: You mentioned last time that you had accompanied Lenny Bruce to a number of his court trials and supported him through that.

Shecky Greene: I actually only went to court with him once and that was in San Francisco, but Lenny and I were very close. But the guy that was with me, my ex-partner, was very, very close with Lenny. I didn't like to be around Lenny. I didn't like to be around Lenny because I would get very nervous around Lenny. The whole thing with the dope and everything else, that wasn't my cup of tea and I didn't like to see a man destroy himself like that.

Kliph Nesteroff: Who was your partner that hung out with him?

Shecky Greene: It was a guy named Frankie Ray. His real name is Frank Perelli. He used to do impressions and stuff and he became very close with Lenny.

Kliph Nesteroff: Frankie was a business partner of yours?

Shecky Greene: Well, no he was a comic. We had a club in New Orleans. What club? We had a place for him to take money. That's all. Everytime I would come back the cash register was empty.

Kliph Nesteroff: How did you first get to know Lenny?

Shecky Greene: I met Lenny through Buddy Hackett many, many, many years ago. When I was working Billy Gray's Band Box. Buddy took me out to meet Lenny because they grew up... well, they were kids together.

Kliph Nesteroff: Jack Carter was telling me he grew up in the same neighborhood as Buddy Hackett.

Shecky Greene: Yes. They were good friends at one time, but I don't know what happened. That wasn't Jack's doing. That was Buddy's doing. You know, Jack Carter happens to be magnificent. He's a strange man, but he happens to be a wonderful man.

Kliph Nesteroff: He has been very generous with his time with me.

Shecky Greene: Yes. He's that kind of a guy.

Kliph Nesteroff: His mind is still sharp.

Shecky Greene: Ahhhh, listen. We just went to a memorial for Eddie Fisher and he was there and he was brilliant. He just took off and just (laughs) - he had me laughing my ass off.

Kliph Nesteroff: He told me a fascinating anecdote about playing Vegas when they were testing the atomic bomb in the desert. It shook up all the locusts and there were insects covering Vegas, in everyone's food and drink and everything else...

Shecky Greene: Well, that wasn't really the bomb, that was my wife's perfume.

An Interview with Shecky Greene - Part One

Shecky Greene: What was that thing you told me yesterday that I said?

Kliph Nesteroff: Oh, about Martha Raye's Five O'Clock Club? You had mentioned a few years back that it was always full of amyl nitrate dopers.  

Shecky Greene: I can't imagine where you got that.

Kliph Nesteroff: It's not true?

Shecky Greene: Oh, sure it's true.

Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs)

Shecky Greene: I wouldn't have said that if it wasn't true.

Kliph Nesteroff: What was that venue like? You seem to indicate that it was a wild, happening place.

Shecky Greene: I was very immature at that time. I went down there [to Miami] and Martha Raye was a big star, supposedly. This guy named the club after her, which was successful for a while. I went in. She would always use a comic. I went in and I really didn't know what was happening. They had strange people hanging out at the bar. Then all of a sudden I smell this stuff. They were all hitting on amyl nitrate. The whole club. People would come in, legitimate people would all come in, they would sit, and the place would smell like stockings. You know? Stink of stockings. Errol Flynn came in. He was high on amyl nitrate. Movie stars came in, they were popping the amyl nitrate, you know. But that was my experience with the Five O'Clock Club.

Kliph Nesteroff: You started at the Tommy Terrace Saloon in Milwaukee....

Shecky Greene: I guess that's one of the places. Tom Terrace at Sixth and Wells. What the hell did we call it? You got the name of it there?

Kliph Nesteroff: Just the Terrace Saloon is what I have down here.

Shecky Greene: Yeah, the Terrace Club. Anyway, he was a legitimate guy. Tom. A Greek with an accent that had the same strippers that had worked for the last fifteen, twenty years. They didn't strip! They didn't take anything off. They'd walk out and say, "Hi, Charlie! How's your wife? Sam? The children okay?" And then one grind, one bump and that was it. That was their act.

Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs)

Shecky Greene: He wouldn't let me say one dirty word. I couldn't say "hell" or "goddamn" on the stage. "Leesen, I want to tell you sumpthing. Don't say no bad werrds."

Kliph Nesteroff: That doesn't exactly seem like a showbiz hub - Milwaukee.

Shecky Greene: Well, you know, there was another place there - a top club for Milwaukee called The Tick Tock. I went over there from the Terrace Club to The Tick Tock and worked. I worked with Sophie Tucker. You know who Sophie Tucker was?

Kliph Nesteroff: Of course. Of course, yes.

Shecky Greene: Yeah. It was very interesting because he brought me in there with Sophie Tucker. He once made a statement, the guy who owned the place, an Italian, that he didn't need Jews or Italians in his nightclub. From that time on he was empty. In order to get the Jews and Italians back in he brought in Sophie Tucker and then he hired me with Sophie Tucker. And then Sophie was breaking in her fiftieth anniversary material. They were going to give her an award from the Washington chapter of the B'Nai Brith in Milwaukee. She started with her act and she was kind of nervous because it was new material. They said, "Wait, Mr. Weinstein is going to give you a plaque from the B'Nai Brith." So she says, "Okay, come up. Bring the goddman thing up." Then the little guy went to make a speech, she grabbed the mic and told him to sit down and she told him off! And then we didn't get the Jews again after that.

Kliph Nesteroff: From there you started playing the Prevue Lounge in New Orleans where an unknown Al Hirt was bandleader.

Shecky Greene: Well, Al Hirt wasn't unknown in New Orleans. He was known to those people. Al Hirt had six jobs to support eight kids. Al Hirt had a radio show, he was teaching trumpet, he had all kinds of things going on. I had all kinds of great musicians. Pete Fountain played in there - in New Orleans I had the best musicians. I never had my own music. These guys would just make it up behind me. When I first went into the Five O'Clock Club, the guy said, "Where's your music?" I said, "I don't have music." I call up Al. I said, "Al, the guy wants music." Al said, "I wanna tell yuh watcha wanna do. Tella mothafucka, that you sing this in C, you sing this in B, you sing that in B Flat and you sing that in C, that's it."

Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs)

Shecky Greene: But I tell ya, in New Orleans everybody had the name "motherfucker." That was their first name. Their first name was "motherfucker."

Kliph Nesteroff: You teamed up with pianist Herbie Dell eventually.

Shecky Greene: That was my piano player, yeah. My conductor. Herbie was with me for years and years and years. Herbie and his wife are now in a home. I wish to God that I could support him, but I can't.

Kliph Nesteroff: How did you first team up with him?

Shecky Greene: Well, Herbie and I were good friends. I met him in Los Angeles. Little jobs, I'd just take him on a couple little jobs and a couple jobs more. When I went to Vegas and I was working with somebody else, I said, "Just let me bring him in and I'll work with him all the time."

Kliph Nesteroff: I watched a segment from The Hollywood Palace in which he was onstage with you.

Shecky Greene: Yes, which one was that? The Perry Como thing?

Kliph Nesteroff: It wasn't the Perry Como one. It was the one hosted by Donald O'Connor.

Shecky Greene: Donald? No. I had one hosted by Groucho Marx.

Kliph Nesteroff: Right, there is a Groucho Marx one, a Perry Como Christmas one, and one hosted by Donald O'Connor.

Shecky Greene: Where the hell did you get all of those things?

Kliph Nesteroff: The internet. 

Shecky Greene: Oh, can I get the Donald O'Connor one on the internet?

Kliph Nesteroff: Yes, certainly. I'll forward it to you.

Shecky Greene: That's great. I never felt I really ever came across on television. First of all, I've got to explain this. I never really wanted this business. But I never knew what business I wanted. I had all kinds of problems with being bipolar... which they didn't point out until later. When the doctors finally run out of what to tell you, they tell you you're bipolar.

Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs)

Shecky Greene: One doctor said I'm bipolar, north polar and south polar. That's how bad I had it. And I went through terrible depressions. I always got terrible depressions, so I never really worked on anything. The wonderful thing was the lounge made it so it was perfect for me. Every night was a different show. Every night was improv. And same thing when I worked little clubs. I could work that way. When I finally got back into main rooms, you more or less had to have an act and that wasn't who I was. I wasn't an A-B-C-D comic. "Hello, ladies and gentleman," and the next line. I once worked The Latin Quarter in New York, which was strictly a tourist joint ... That was an A-B-C-D type of an audience. Because they got off the bus, you come in, you did your act, that's it. I said, "This is not for me." After about three days I quit the job. At that time to get to [play] The Latin Quarter or The Copacabana was really something.

Kliph Nesteroff: I understand that when you played The Copacabana, Jules Podell cut your microphone.

Shecky Greene: I was on exactly thirty seconds.

Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs)

Shecky Greene: He cut the microphone and had the band start to play. I refused to leave. Nat King Cole was coming down the [aisle] in the dark and he was singing, "The breeeeeeezzzeee and I, were say-ying with uh sigh..." and I was still onstage and I wouldn't let him come on the stage. I said, "Did you see what the fuck he did to me!? This man?" Then he started over again, "The breeeeeeezzzeee and I, were say-ying with uh sigh.... that yooooooo..." I said, "Did you see what he did to me!?" Every time he started, I kept on saying, "You see what he did to me?" His manager came down. Carlos. The man was about six-four, three hundred pounds. Picked me up, literally picked me up and took me away. Nat King Cole finally got onstage. Opening night. He finally finished, "The breeeeeeezzzeee and I." (laughs) There was a helluva breeze that night.

Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs) That was the only time that you did The Copa? Just that thirty seconds?

Shecky Greene: Now I'm going to tell you the story... you're the only one I have ever told this story to. The Copacabana, that man was a cocksucker. I couldn't quit and he was told not to fire me. He was told by Frank Costello and a man in Chicago - I don't want to mention any names. He couldn't fire me. I couldn't quit. So I had to stay there three weeks and I drank for three weeks. Every night Charlie Applewhite would come in, who was at that time on The Milton Berle Show. With his Texas accent, "Shecky, Goddamnit! Give it to him! Give it to him!" Now we're past that job - years go by. The Copacabana was ready to close and I get a call from Jules Podell. Jules Podell pleaded with me. You hear what I tell you? Pleaded with me to come work The Copacabana. I said, "Mr. Podell, after what you did to me..." I'll never forget that as long as I live. He said, "Shecky, I need you." You know? Now if you knew what kind of a guy Jules... for him to bow down and say, "I need you." I never went back. It was finished by then. The Copa.

Kliph Nesteroff: But the reason he cut your microphone in the first place? 

Shecky Greene: What happened was, my first joke - was a terrible joke. It was just awful. He didn't like it. When he didn't like something, he pounded the table with his ring. He would say, "Get him off!" I kept hearing his ring and I said,"What is that? Is that the Bells of St. Mary?" Anyway, the band played and Doug Cowdy was the guy that turned the lights out. A guy that stuttered. I walked over to him and I said, "Whaddya do that for?" He said, "Du-du-duh-na-na-na-nu unduh," and I could hear the ring. He fell in love with my wife, by the way. They drank every night. They went upstairs to drink.

Kliph Nesteroff: A bunch of people fell in love with your wife! Didn't Mickey Rooney marry one of your ex-wives?

Shecky Greene: No, he didn't marry her. He lived with her for a long time. She's got his Oscar... Where the hell did you find out all this shit!?

Kliph Nesteroff: I do my research.

Shecky Greene: My God, you do your research!

Kliph Nesteroff: In April 1956 you appeared on a short lived television show called The Comedy Hour, The NBC Comedy Hour. Apparently it didn't do so well? Jonathan Winters was on it a lot...

Shecky Greene: Yes, let me tell you what that was. Whatsisname... Weaver.

Kliph Nesteroff: Pat Weaver.

Shecky Greene: Pat Weaver who was President of NBC, had this wonderful vision of comedy, which they've got now. Now it's over. It's too much shit with comedy. He had this wonderful vision so he signed a lot of comics. Now where did he sign me? He signed me out of The Copacabana. Think about it. The worst fuckin' job I've ever had in my life. I was the worst possible thing you could ever possibly... he signed me [based on the gig at] The Copacabana. Frank Loesser, who wrote many Broadway shows, found me and wanted me for Most Happy Fella - that was also out of The Copacabana. Can you imagine if I had been good at The Copacabana, what would have been offered to me? We went with The Comedy Hour. He had Jonathan Winters on there. Jonathan Winters and I were aboard ship together for two years. He was a marine, I was in the navy. Jonathan Winters tells everyone he was in those steamboxes from The Bridge of the River Kwai. Anyway, The Comedy Hour, they brought in a bunch of directors that were movie directors. Just gave 'em jobs. They didn't want any fucking part of television. So there was really no feeling for that show.

Kliph Nesteroff: I heard it was a huge bomb, but when you look at the list of people involved, it's very impressive.

Shecky Greene: And yet, it really wasn't a bomb, it just didn't take off. You had the [manic Colgate] Comedy Hour and people were so used to that, they weren't adapted to this kind of [slower paced] thing. I was signed by NBC and they offered me different kinds of pilots which I turned down. One that Phil Harris turned down called Curly, I turned down. They wanted me to do it, but I wouldn't do it because it was for Phil Harris.

Kliph Nesteroff: Yeah, Curly was his nickname, for goodness sake. I also heard that around that time, 1958, you were engaged in a drawn out battle with your manager Al Borde.

Shecky Greene: No, it wasn't a long... where the hell do you hear all this shit? No, I had a manager by the name of Al Borde who signed me and never really knew what the hell I did. He signed me and because I started to get lucky, he signed another fifty comics. But he was sort of a nice alcoholic. Al Borde, when I signed with him I was making no money or anything and Al Borde couldn't do anything. So I said to Al Borde, "I want to leave." I had just signed with NBC and I got that without him. I said, "Al, you're in Chicago. I'm in Los Angeles. Let's break this thing up." Then he was going to sue me for millions and millions and millions of dollars. I think I had fifty-two dollars in the bank. So I contacted a lawyer, a very dear friend of mine in Chicago, and I told him. He knew Al Borde and we made a settlement over a period of years. I paid him ten thousand dollars. We remained close friends. But every time he saw me, he'd have two drinks and then say, "You know you owe me ellevenuh milleeen dollars!"

Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs)

Shecky Greene: I didn't want a manager. I really didn't want the fucking business. Every job that came saved me from quitting. A job started at fifty, next one was seventy-five, then it went to one-fifty, then it went to five hundred... I kept on going like that and couldn't quit. I kept on lying to myself, "I'm going to go back to college." I see these people like Joan Rivers and she [drives] herself to get on and do this. Thank God she's established now and she can do whatever she wants. That drive: "I just gotta gotta do it." I never had that shit. I just went and had my little nervous breakdowns with my depression, you know? I once went to a psychiatrist, a guy by the name of Leonard Curlin in Beverly Hills. I went to him and I was really in bad shape. Leonard Curlin was a psychiatrist, a lawyer and an engineer. He had degrees in all of those things, that's how brilliant he was. I had two sessions and then he said, "Can I go watch you work?" Kliph, this is my right hand to God, a true story. He came to Vegas and he fell in love with me. He said, "I can't believe it! Why aren't you the individual that you are onstage, offstage?" I said, "Because I have control of the people when I'm on that stage. I'm not that guy." He said, "You mind if I stay over for tomorrow?" So I got him a room and he stayed over. The guy actually became, forget doctor it was too late - he became a fan ... we're talking about the early sixties.

 

Kliph Nesteroff: That's when you first became aware of some mental health issues that you felt you had to address?

Shecky Greene: Oh, yeah I was... I had... I come from that background. My uncle, my aunt, it was something in the genes. Something you can't fight. Like a wave comes over you and you go, "Uh oh, here it comes."

Kliph Nesteroff: Yeah.

Shecky Greene: When you're at the beach, and a wave comes in, like that. Here it comes. You know?

Kliph Nesteroff: Sadly I know only too well. In 1958 you started playing the lounge at The Riviera - shows starting at one thirty am. George Gobel started showing up at your shows and became a big fan...

Shecky Greene: No, no, no, George Gobel and I were friendly way before that. That had nothing to do with it. Let me tell you what happened. I got into Vegas 1954. Okay? I worked The Last Froniter Hotel. Okay? The Riviera was just opening. They signed me for The Riviera. Same guy booked The Riviera and The Frontier. Okay?

Kliph Nesteroff: Yup.

Shecky Greene: Okay. When I said, "Where's my job?" They said, "We don't have room for you." I said, "Put me in the lounge." The lounge was built exactly like the room I worked in New Orleans. It looked just like the Prevue Lounge. They said, "No, we've never had a comic in the lounge." I said, "I'll do it." That's how I established that thing. Louis [Prima] and Keeley [Smith] were popular in The Sahara [Lounge] and then I became very big with The Riviera.

The Tropicana was closed and the people from The Tropicana called me and offered me a job. They said, "We'll give you five points [as an investment in the hotel]." I said, "Well, I don't know." I went to look at the stage. There was a man named Cal Howizon who put up the money for all these people that went broke. Well, not broke but all these wealthy guys that fell in the shithouse at The Tropicana. So, Cal Howizon gave them some money and I said to him, "We'll do this in the lounge." He said, "No, we won't do it in the lounge. We're not [changing the format]." He was the kind of guy who had come from Colorado, a small town. He owned a couple of nightclubs in Vegas and he owned a couple of horses. He was a very nice man, but he also didn't know diddly shit about show business.

So, I started to walk out. I walked back and I said, "Okay, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll put a board over the bar." That took off. The Tropicana took off. I kept The Tropicana open by myself before they had a show in there. Then we started to do big business. I mean, you couldn't get into the lounge after a while. Then after five or six years, he signed The Mary Kaye Trio. The Mary Kaye Trio was getting nine thousand and I was getting sixty-five hundred. I went to him and I said, "You're paying them ten thousand? I made your hotel, you're only giving me sixty-five hundred?" "There's three of them and there's only one of you." That's the way he thought. I said, "There's just the three of them now, because I'm leaving." I went back to The Riviera for eighty-five hundred and two points.

Kliph Nesteroff: Is it true that your stint at The Riviera really took off after Earl Wilson mentioned it in his column?

Shecky Greene: No. No, Earl Wilson didn't mean shit in Vegas. I don't think the people there even knew who Earl Wilson was.

Kliph Nesteroff: Was that not how you ended up getting signed for twelve Ed Sullivan spots?

Shecky Greene: No, I don't know. That really isn't true. I think Sullivan used to come to Vegas. And the people that I knew - knew him very well. I had my friend go down, he wasn't a manager or anything, to meet with Sullivan at the Desert Inn. This guy was scared shitless. He said, "You mean you want me to talk to Ed Sullivan?" So Sullivan signed me for twelve shots, which is a story to write a book about. I talked about a mine disaster when they actually had a mine disaster.

Kliph Nesteroff: That's a famous story, yeah.

Shecky Greene: When I [told a mine disaster joke] it was actually happening live. I didn't know a mine disaster was actually happening. Sullivan said [to me backstage], "You dirty son of a bitch! You lost me Canada! You fucking lost me Canada!" So next time I went on his show I did a German accent and I lost him Germany. Next time I said, "Who do you want to lose this month?" (laughs)

Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs) I was reading through the TV listings and looking at who else was on the same episode of Ed Sullivan in which you first appeared. It included the comedy team of Wayne and Shuster. Do you recall?

Shecky Greene: Yeah, Wayne and Shuster I remember. I kept on pushing Wayne and Shuster. I thought they were great but the American public never took to them.

Kliph Nesteroff: Which is kind of crazy considering that they appeared on Ed Sullivan more than any other act in the show's history. Sixty-seven appearances!

Shecky Greene: Because he loved them. He loved them. You want to know something? I thought they were that good. Those kids were the forerunners of what came out of Canada with those shows like Saturday Night Live.

Kliph Nesteroff: Well, Frank Shuster of Wayne and Shuster... his daughter is Rosie Shuster who was one of the chief writers during Saturday Night Live's inception and she was married to Saturday Night Live creator Lorne Michaels. Lorne Michaels was Frank Shuster's son-in-law.

Shecky Greene: Ohhhhh, I never knew that! Oh my gosh. So, what I said was true! I didn't even realize that.

Kliph Nesteroff: And not only that, Frank Shuster's uncle was Joe Shuster - co-creator of Superman.

Shecky Greene: Now you see, now I understand that Lorne Michaels thing. That's where Lorne Michaels got that whole idea. Do you know then - that I met Lorne Michaels [through Frank Shuster], way back then? Isn't that amazing? I did.  Huh. I never put two and two together. I would get six anyway, because I am very bad at math. But isn't that amazing?

Kliph Nesteroff: But you got to know Wayne and Shuster a little bit?

Shecky Greene: I never got to know them at all! I got a picture of me with Tom Hanks. He never said hello to me! John Candy talked to me, but Tom Hanks who put a grapefruit in my face didn't even talk to me!

Kliph Nesteroff: What do you mean put a grapefruit in... Oh, in the movie Splash...

Shecky Greene: In Splash. There was supposed to be a big scene where I have a fight with him and then he takes a grapefruit like Jimmy Cagney and puts it in my face. Which he did.

Kliph Nesteroff: Going back to that incident about Ed Sullivan yelling at you for telling jokes about a mine disaster... is there also a story about him bumping into you in an elevator years later and bringing up the subject?

Shecky Greene: No, that was... yes. What happened was, I was working with Sinatra at The Fountainbleau. [Sullivan] and his wife were there in the afternoon. Now we all get in the same elevator. I didn't want to bother with him, you know what I mean? They walked away, and he said to his wife as they were leaving, "Sylvia, why do we hate Shecky Greene?" She had to remind him. As the elevator doors are closing she says, "The mine disaster." Now I go downstairs later and I'm facing them again. I said, "Why didn't you ask me, Ed?"

Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs) What a strange man.

Shecky Greene: Kliph, let me tell ya, I had more things with Sullivan than Carter had pills. I did a thing on Sullivan. We had big fights and then he'd call me back to do the show and everything. He went to Europe and he came back for his 11th anniversary and I was on his 11th anniversary show. He said, "Shecky, Shicky, what're we going to do today on our show?" I said, "Ed, listen. Why don't you introduce me as a comic that you found in Germany, from Heidelberg. All right?" "What a good idea. You're from Heidelberg." I said, "Yeah. You just got back from Europe. And you found this comedian in Heidelberg ... I'll take it from there." So he says, "Tonight on our shoooow! Sylvia and I were in Europe and I found this comedian in Heidelberg. Here he is now Sheckles..." And I came on and I said [in a German accent], "Ladies and gentleman, Mr. Sullivan has been on television for eleven years and there is a reason for that. There's nothing to hate. He doesn't sing. He doesn't dance. He doesn't tell jokes. He doesn't do anything and that's why he's been on television for eleven years." 

Well, when I walked off, it was like the same as the Springhill Mine disaster. "You dirty son of a bitch... I've got more talent in my little finger than..." "You really believe this," I said. "You fuckin' nut!" Years later I'm watching reruns of his show and Jack Benny is on. Jack Benny was a big fan of mine and we were very close friends. On this show Sullivan is talking to him and Benny says, "Now, Ed. Let's face facts. The reason why you've been on television all these years... you don't sing, you don't dance..." He told exactly the same fuckin' thing and Sullivan is laughing his ass off. So you tell me about this fuckin' world.

Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs) Ah, man. You were quoted once, speaking of people having explosions with Ed Sullivan, you were quoted as saying, "When I met Jackie Mason it almost made me an anti-Semite."

Shecky Greene: Oh, I probably did say that. I probably did become an anti-Semite! No, I probably did. I think I went to my Temple and beat up my Rabbi after that.

Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs)

Shecky Greene: No, I dislike... I think he's brilliant, let me tell you that, but I think he's a piece of shit. As a human being there's no quality there.

Kliph Nesteroff: A lot of people have said that. Was there something specific that made you conclude...

Shecky Greene: You know what? He's just a user. A user, an abuser... Nick Vanoff, who really put him on Broadway... Nick Vanoff who had The Hollywood Palace was probably the nicest human being that God ever put on this earth and he stuck it to him. He stuck it to Nick. I put Jackie on my stage. One day he said to me, "I want to tell you something, you want to listen to me? I know you're working this place, can I get up on the stage? I want to break in material for The Ed Sullivan Show, okay?" So I got him up on my stage at [The Crescendo]. I said, "Go ahead. Break it in." I thought it would be good because I had all B'nai Brith people there. He wouldn't get off the stage! And then he said, "I wanna tell you, this dummy allowed me to get up on the stage. He don't understand I'm trying to do this - I'm trying to do that." A piece of shit.

Kliph Nesteroff: He always claimed that when there was that famous incident with the fingers and Ed Sullivan that Sullivan helped instigate a blacklist against him and that it ruined his career. In doing my research that seems to not be the case. He was only off the program for ten months, and in the interim he appeared on The Dean Martin Show, The Hollywood Palace and every other big show. He worked constantly for the next decade and was on TV all the time.

Shecky Greene: Kliph, it was the biggest thing that could have happened for him! If he had no talent maybe he just would have been forgotten. But he is brilliant, he's talented, and it's a wonderful character. See the problem with me is I do too many things. Do you know what I'm getting at? I do impressions, I do this, I do that, I'm a Walter Mitty type. So there's no one thing that says: That's Shecky Greene. When you see Rickles you say, "Okay. That's Rickles.' That's Jackie Mason." Generally in comedy, the people most successful are people that have one dimension, that one personality. Does that make sense to you?

Kliph Nesteroff: Of course, totally. Once you hit on that persona or that one character that people can identify with...

Shecky Greene: That's right. The Jack Bennys and... so consequently, this sounds like an arrogant fucking thing to say, but my reality, I've got a lot of talent. But it's maybe too much fucking talent because nobody can identify, "He does this. He does that." If anybody has a routine in our business... People remember Dick Shawn had Massa Richard, Buddy Hackett had the Chinese waiter, Danny Thomas had "the jack story," you know what I mean? I had one I'd do, "Cock on the Moon," so the people could relate to this one piece of material that I do. Or [the] Madame Butterfly [bit]. But if they say, "What does Shecky do?" You'd go, "Well, uh... he, uh... tells jokes? He does this impression... erm..." You know what I'm getting at? If I was a manager I'd grab a kid that I could identify with one individual personality.

Kliph Nesteroff: But as a performer if you had hit on one specific thing, it would probably drive you crazy inside.

Shecky Greene: Oh, I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. The wonderful thing for me is I become these [different personas] and I get lost in that. I can get on stage and do Buddy Hackett and people think its Buddy Hackett's act. It's not. It's things I'm making up. So I enjoy doing that. I enjoy becoming somebody else. Like I said, Walter Mitty.

Kliph Nesteroff: There is a story... now, you and Buddy Hackett were quite close as I understand.

Shecky Greene: Close and not close. We had a love - hate relationship. I don't think there was any hate with him.

Kliph Nesteroff: There is a story that you punched him out. You knocked him unconscious way out in the desert one early morning...

Shecky Greene: My God... My God. My God, where do you hear all of this shit? Buddy Hackett... went looking for me one night. Buddy Hackett found me in a bar and Buddy Hackett came in with just a nightshirt. A portfolio under his arm. Buddy Hackett had a gun in the portfolio. Buddy Hackett said to me, "You know why I wanna talk to you? You fired Fred Thompson." I fired a guy that worked for him also. The guy was my gardener. He was a valet to him, but a gardener to me. Every time he'd garden the lawn he would cut in to the wire fence and it would curl up. So finally I said to him, "I've replaced twelve wire fences. Fred, I can't have you anymore." So I fired him. Buddy Hackett came in and he said, "Let me tell you something. That man needs new teeth." I said, "Well, fuckin' go buy him some new teeth!" He said, "No, you 

The two of us are drinking and gambling ... every time I would win, and I didn't know that I had won, because I was drunk. He wold take the money and put it in the portfolio. After a while he went to check out the money. We made a lot of money. Which I didn't know. I thought we lost it all. We're walking across the street. I had a guy, George, who I hired to take care of me when I got drunk. Except George got drunk before me. So now we're walking across the street. As I'm walking, he stands in the middle of the street and he [refers to me as] Mr. Magoo's dumb nephew. Buddy Hackett says, "You know something? You're a Waldo!" I said, "What?" He's in the middle of the fuckin' street! I'm on the curb already. I said, "I'm a what?" He said, "Not only that. I'm gonna tell you something. You're a double Waldo!" So now I walk back and I said, "I'm a fuckin' double Waldo!?" He's got the gun. I punch him in the fucking stomach! Now, as I'm walking away, Kliph, he comes running and jumps on my back. Which is the second time he's done that in my life. I flip him over my back. I put my foot on his throat. I said, "If you get up, Buddy - I'm going to kill you." 

I reach down I take the gun and his car keys and throw them into the desert. I said, "Now don't get up." In the meantime, my guy George who's half-gone, I said, "George. Start the car." He said, "[inaudible drunken slurring]." So we drove away and that was it. About three hours later - and I didn't know who I was, my phone rings. "Hi, Sheck." I said, "Who's this?" "It's Buddy. You know, if someone was with us this morning they would think we didn't like each other." I said, "Buddy? Where are you?" He said, "I'm in the desert. I'm looking for my car keys. A gun? I can get another gun. But I need my car keys." We met for lunch, we kissed, and that was it.

Kliph Nesteroff: Ah, man. I miss Buddy Hackett!

Shecky Greene: I miss Buddy Hackett. But Buddy did some terrible fucking things - and to me. But you wanna know something? I did love him. I really fuckin' loved him. I used to do a joke about how one day we were going to lunch. It was Sammy Davis with his one eye, I had a bad knee - just had my knee operated on, and Buddy Hackett talking out of the side of his mouth. People thought it was a telethon (laughs).

Kliph Nesteroff: Another crazy Vegas story that I heard was that you and Riviera boss Ed Torres did not get along and that it was his birthday. You were on stage when they wheeled out a giant birthday cake with his name on it, and you dove from the stage and did a big belly flop into the cake.

Shecky Greene: No, I don't think that's true. No. I wish that did happen, but it didn't. But we didn't like each other. Believe me, that didn't happen. I used to use a joke. I used to say, "One of the owners is a Sephardic Jew. One of the owners, Ed Torres is a Sephardic Jew and if you don't pay your gambling debts, he'll send two little Sepharts after you. But don't worry. You can hear them coming [fart sound]." Well, he hated that fucking joke. One day the cops came in and were taking me out. I was drunk. They shackled me up. And he said to me, "Where are the Sepharts now?!" We had more fuckin' things happen... and in Vegas, the hotels had different factions together. This guy hated this guy and this guy hated that guy. It was a wonderful time.

Kliph Nesteroff: Speaking of getting arrested, I heard that you were cast in an episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show, rehearsed with them all week long, but never ended up taping the show because you got carted away.

Shecky Greene: No, that's not true. Let me tell you exactly what happened. I was going to do The Dick Van Dyke Show and play Shecky Greene! Dick and I were good friends. I was going to do it, so I went to rehearsal the first day. I was married to a woman - I can't even explain it. I was a drunk. I was sitting at the dinner table and she hit me with a thing over my head and gave me a concussion. I had to go to the hospital with a concussion. I ended up at the Hilton Hotel. I had to stay there for three days without moving. I wasn't rested, I had to stay in the hotel, and I had to cancel the show. That's what happened. Richard Deacon who was on the show came to my room. He said, "Listen, do you want me to stay with you?" I said, "No, no, no. Don't stay with me." (laughs)

Kliph Nesteroff: Eventually you did end up playing yourself, not on the same show, but on the same lot. You appeared as Shecky Greene on an episode of The Joey Bishop Show.

Shecky Greene: I played Shecky Greene as a butcher.

Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs)

Shecky Greene: I was a butcher and he was going to get me a shot on his [fictional] television show. I actually wrote the show. I never got credit for it, but [Ray] Singer and [Dick] Chevillat put down that they wrote the show (laughs). Yeah, I wrote the whole goddamn show. He was another character, Joey.

Kliph Nesteroff: Corbett Monica was in the same episode.

Shecky Greene: I started Corbett Monica in show business. I put him in show business. He was a dance teacher in St. Louis. Corbett Monica was a very nice boy. Very nice boy.

Kliph Nesteroff: What were  your experiences with Joey Bishop like?

Shecky Greene: Uhhhhhhh... heh, heh, heh. Let's say that I never took Joey Bishop seriously. Joey Bishop was a strange man. We were very good friends, if you could be friends... Joey Bishop was a... you know there are certain people in our business that have very little talent, but they're good politicians. One of 'em is Tom Dreessen. I really don't know Tom Dreessen that well and I don't think I've seen enough to truly say this statement, it's just what I surmise. Tom Dreesen is a tremendous Irish politician. Joey was a Jewish politician. I saw Joey kill audiences. I don't know why. I mean it was just shit that he did. But there was a certain command that he had and it was wonderful. Tom has got the same thing. That's a wonderful quality that somebody's got. But Joey Bishop got so far without any fuckin' talent, it's unbelievable.

I went to Joey Bishop's house in Newport. I got over there and a little girl answers the door. Nora. Nice lookin' girl. I said, "Is Joey here?" She said, "Well, he's sitting in the lounge." He was a vegetable. I went into the room. He was a vegetable. He was just staring out the window. I said, "Joey! Shecky!" He said, "I want to ask you who's this guy? Who's this guy?" I said, "Joey! It's Shecky." "Somebody says it's Shecky? Who's this guy? I want to know who this guy is!" I did all of my act for him to see if he remembered me. This is just before he died. Whatever year that was. I sang opera, I did the impression of Buddy, and I couldn't even make him blink. I started crying my eyes out. When you've known people for a long time and you see them in that situation - it breaks your heart. I saw that he had copies of all of his shows. So I said, "Nora, when I leave, put my tape on and tell him." She put the tape on and she called an hour later. She said, "Shecky, he said 'That's Shecky Greene on the tape." I called him and he said, "Joey! I was just there!" He said, "No, no, you weren't here." He was out of it. He had a disease. He was gone. 

Kliph Nesteroff: I wanted to ask you about your comedy record. 6-5-4-3-2-1 A Funny Thing Happened. On Majestic Records. Do you remember doing this album?

Shecky Greene: Yeah...

Kliph Nesteroff: That seems like a pretty obscure record label. How did that come about?

Shecky Greene: That was an individual guy. That was a guy, a friend of mine, who was also in the recording business. He wanted to do it and I said, "No, no, no, no, no." And we finally did it, y'know? We never sold any of those. You know why? There was no publicity and there was no promotion of the thing. It didn't bother me.

Kliph Nesteroff: I listened to it recently and I really, really enjoyed it. I thought that it held up quite well.

Shecky Greene: The material that I do or who I am could go for another thousand years. Nothing is dated. You know? If I talk about opera - opera is going to go on for another thousand years. So there's nothing dated, [as long as I don't] get on the stage and talk about what was in the newspaper. A lot of the kids today that do social commentary and talk about the President... like Bill Maher, whom I hate. He's a brilliant boy and everything else... I just hate him. He's got an attitude. I'd like to put a gun between his eyes because I had a personal thing with him. The personal thing I had with him - we did a charity. I said, "You're Irish and Jewish?" And he got crazy. He said, "I didn't know I was a Jew until I was thirteen!" Well, when you say that to me - I am a Jew on Jew. Slowly I turn. Step by step (laughs). Inch by inch. I said, "You little prick." Well, he got very, very big and God bless him because he's bright, but I'm gonna tell you what. To me he will always be a prick. He may always be a brilliant talent and everything else, but he's a little prick. I mean, he wasn't a Jew until he was thirteen. But this kid, [Jon] Stewart. Stewart really has comedy in him. Bill Maher has to a certain extent, but Stewart really is a comic. The brilliance of the political thing and everything else.

Kliph Nesteroff: Well, Maher's comedy seems to come from attitude whereas Stewart seems to exude more natural funniness. His comedy is just more... naturally... funny.

Shecky Greene: Yes. Also, Stewart has a nicer way about him. Maher has an arrogance, but when he starts using "fuck" in front of the women... I can't understand that ... I recoil from that.

Kliph Nesteroff: Speaking of raunchy type things, you did another comedy record that was on the notorious Laff Records label. I don't know if it was authorized or not, but there's the album Shecky Greene: A Day at the Races.

Shecky Greene: I went to sue them. It wasn't authorized at all. The thing you're talking about, raunchy... that guy went to jail. Whatever his name was.

Kliph Nesteroff: The guy from Laff Records?

Shecky Greene: Yeah. He was the guy who, for years and years, stole money from the Black performers. He made millions and millions from the Black artists. But did you hear that record?

Kliph Nesteroff: No, I don't have a copy of it, I just saw that it existed. That's funny because I did not know the story behind it. I just kind of guessed that it probably was not a legitimate, sanctioned release...

Shecky Greene: Yeah, no it wasn't. I sued them. I sued them. I didn't win anything with the lawsuit. I even bought back a lot of the records that he had, but he still sold it.

Kliph Nesteroff: Was it a recording of your act from the sixties? Where did they even get it?

Shecky Greene: He took a lot of it... I recorded for Columbia and Columbia never released anything. So he bought those tapes from Columbia, but they were not sanctioned to sell those tapes!

Kliph Nesteroff: I spoke recently with Bill Dana, who you probably know...

Shecky Greene: Yeah, very well.

Kliph Nesteroff: He had all those great selling comedy records and they were mostly on Kapp Records, but he had a pair on the Roulette label. I asked him why he had two on Roulette, pressed by Morris Levy. Turns out Roulette just recorded audio of Bill Dana straight off The Steve Allen Show and then released it as a record totally unauthorized. When Bill Dana and his agent stepped in to try and have those taken off the market, Moe Levy and his boys laid it on heavy and started phoning them in the middle of the night saying, "If you know what's good for you, you'll lay off."

Shecky Greene: That's the guy I'm talking about! Morris Levy!

Kliph Nesteroff: Wait, was there a Shecky Greene record on Roulette?

Shecky Greene: No, no, no, they put it out on the Laff Records. But that's the guy who went to jail. That's the same guy. He was with the killers and all kinds of shit, connected with those people.

Kliph Nesteroff: He also ran a nightclub in New York, I believe, called The Roundtable? Jackie Kannon played there at The Rat Fink Room...

Shecky Greene: Yes, yes. Jackie Kannon who died. He was from Detroit. Nice boy. But he also had a hoodlum complex. He would have been good for The Sopranos, Jackie Kannon.

Kliph Nesteroff: I listened to some of the Jackie Kannon comedy album that's on Roulette and it's surprisingly dirty. It's from the mid sixties, not the late sixties, and there are plenty of four-letter words right on the record.

Shecky Greene: You know, it's a wonderful thing if you analyze it. That's around the time that Lenny started to get big. When Lenny started to do that, they all started to do that. George Carlin switched his demeanor and everything else to become the seven words and whatever he did. I was in Vegas when they fired him because he did the words. George was brilliant. So was Lenny. But Lenny started all of those kids doing that. Richard Pryor - all of them became Lenny afficianados. I did a thing ... the guy who had Richard Pryor for the first time on film was a guy named Bill Sargeant out of New Orleans. Bill Sargeant got kind of big in Hollywood. He was so full of shit, but he really was good at what he did. 

Anyway, he wanted to prove to Pryor that he could do [a stand-up concert] film. I did a thing at The Beverly Hills Hotel. He brought in all the [movie] theater [executives] and I did a show [and they filmed it]. They saw it, these people, and that's how [they were convinced to do a concert film] of Richard Pryor. The first time. They gave me ten thousand dollars. After Richard Pryor saw this, they realized they could sell all the theaters on the idea. All of those guys that started with the word "fuck" and all of that came after the Lenny Bruce thing.

Kliph Nesteroff: Yes, but when it comes right down to it... I know people say that Lenny was the first in terms of the language, but it really isn't true. He was the first one to be persecuted for the language. Before him there were lots of guys BS Pully or Dave Starr with four letter word, dirty acts...

Shecky Greene: Way, way before him, yes, [but] BS Pully with all the dirt and everything never really said too many "fucks." The word "fuck" wasn't used on stage much. There were innuendo and a lot of that, but I don't really remember anyone using the word "fuck" a lot... [but] yeah, that's a very good analysis.

Kliph Nesteroff: Lenny Bruce was the first to really attack religion and the church and things like that and then they persecuted him for obscenity - busted him based on the so-called dirty words. But there's another guy from the forties, Dave Starr...

Shecky Greene: Dave Starr, yeah...

Kliph Nesteroff: Dave Starr was known for being just filthy and using that kind of language. He never got arrested for it, so clearly Lenny was harassed for his subject matter - not his language. The language was the excuse. And Redd Foxx. Redd Foxx could be quite blue long before Lenny Bruce...

Shecky Greene: Quite blue? Heh, heh, heh. How many other colors do you want to use? You know what? I went to court with Lenny many, many times. One time we were at the Geary Theater in San Francisco and he was reading out of the book Tropic of Cancer. They jumped up to arrest him. He was quoting from a book! The police went to arrest him! The assistant district attorney, guy by the name of Schwartz, jumps up. He says, "You can't arrest him. He's just reading a book!" Jesus Christ.

Kliph Nesteroff: There are several other stunts that have been attributed to you. I don't know what is true and what is not. I had read that, during your crazy days, you had pushed a piano off the fifteenth floor of The Fountainbleau Hotel. 

Shecky Greene: Well, if you could show me any human being that could push a piano off the fifteenth floor at The Fountainbleau... I could understand the second floor. No that never happened. There are stories about me... you know what I do now? I just say, "I guess that happened. Yes, that happened."

Kliph Nesteroff: Of course there is the famous, famous story. The 79th Causeway in Miami. Early morning. Sinatra's boys. I read that they cracked your skull and in a different story I read that they broke your ribs.

Shecky Greene: Well, that didn't happen at the 79th Street Causeway... they got a lot of stories mixed up there. Nobody every broke my ribs, but let me tell you. At the 79th Street Causeway. Frank Sinatra, Shecky Greene and a group are going into The Stream Bar to see Willie, um, the saxaphone player. The rest of the group was walking in front of us. We went up to the second tier, Frank and I. Frank Sinatra who was not really himself and Terry who was one of the guys that worked at the place [static][dialtone].

Kliph Nesteroff: Hello?

[phone rings]

Kliph Nesteroff: Hello?

Shecky Greene: My phone doesn't want me to tell you these stories!

Kliph Nesteroff: The Mob has got it tapped!

Shecky Greene: Where was I? 79th Street and Collins Avenue. Anyway, we went in. I told you the people were in front  [static][dialtone].

[phone rings]

Kliph Nesteroff: Hello?

Shecky Greene: Okay, uh, anyway we're going to The Stream Bar on 79th Street. His group goes in front of Frank and I. Frank and I are on the second tier and this guy Terry, one of "the boys" goes to put a chair there. Sinatra throws the chair down. Terry says, "Whadja do that for, Cheech?" Cheech is Frank in Italian. If you say Chooch - that's no good. So now, Sinatra says, "What're you gonna do about it?" He says, "I'm not going to do anything!" Sinatra goes to push him. This guy - he's got an arm that was made in Gary, Indiana. He shoots out a punch and I catch it with my hand. It blows up. Generally when you're hit it takes a few minutes before [you puff up], but this hand blew up like a catcher's mitt. If it would have hit Sinatra... Sinatra [would have been] dead. So now Sinatra leaves and he's walking down Collins Avenue and we're all following in cars. It looks like the New York Marathon. I said, "Someone put a number on his back!" He was walking right down the middle of the street.  

We followed him back to the hotel and all hell broke loose. I don't even wanna go through what went on but he was going to cancel [the filming of] the movie [Tony Rome], he was gonna cancel this, you know, because this thing happened. Through the time that I worked with him he used to say, "You're gonna get it." I used to say, "Frank, what am I gonna get? Are you gonna give it to me? What is this thing?" I was very bad in those days. As bad as he was - I was just as bad with the drinking. I never wanted to be with him. He used to say, "Don't you want to be with me?" I said, "No, I don't want to be with you. I'm sick and tired of Italian food. Seven days out of seven days we have Italian food. I want one Jewish meal, I want one Goddamn Jewish meal. I'm in Miami!" So he says, "You're gonna get it."

So one day I come in drunk out of my mind. It's about three o'clock in the morning. In the hotel five guys jump on me. The one guy was Frechette who comes from a very noted family in Chicago. One of the top guys in Chicago. He loved to use... in fact, I stopped him fifteen times, with the blackjack. He always went to hit people with blackjacks. So he kept on hitting me on the top of the head and the blood kept pouring down. So that's what happened with that. Now, they were going to cancel me from the film [Tony Rome], but in the film there was a part where I have an automobile accident where I'm really hurt like that.

Kliph Nesteroff: Right, with the bandages on the head.

Shecky Greene: So you can see that in the film. But he and I had a relationship second to none. All I needed was Buddy Hackett! "You know somethin, Sheck? I think you better get outta here cause he's gonna have you killed!"


Kliph Nesteroff: But despite this crazy incident, you two still remained friends.


Shecky Greene: He loved me, believe it or not. He loved me and... I just respected him. I didn't love him. I far from loved him. But I fuckin respected him for what he was. I mean I, truthfully, myself, I was insane. He said to me one day, "Without a doubt, you're the sickest fucking human being I've ever met." He's telling me. So I took him by the head and put him in front of the mirror. I said, "There's one sicker!" He didn't say a fuckin' word.


Kliph Nesteroff: Your bouts with alcohol are famous. I was watching an episode of The Dean Martin Show where you did a bit about taking benzedrine and dexadrine and pills. Did you ever...



Shecky Greene: I never talked about pills on The Dean Martin Show. Never.


Kliph Nesteroff: You tell a joke about weight loss pills and how the doctor prescribed you dexadrine and benzadrine and you took all of them in one day...


Shecky Greene: No, I don't think that was me.


Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs) I can send you the clip!


Shecky Greene: You can send me the clip, but I don't think I ever did that. No. I may have done a joke similar to that, but I don't remember the dexadrine and the benzadrine. No. You may have called the wrong guy, you know that?


Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs)


Shecky Greene: You better check your goddamn record!


Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs) Isn't this Jack Carter?


Shecky Greene: Jack Carter! "Whaddaya talking about? You wanna take me for lunch? Take me for lunch!" I'm gonna tell you, that is probably one of the funniest human beings in the world - and a nice man. Crazy, but nice.

Kliph Nesteroff: Crazy, how so?


Shecky Greene: Well, he's just crazy! Say the two of you order a steak. Yours comes and his comes. He'll look and he'll say, "Yours is bigger than mine!" "No, not really, Jack." "I'm telling you your steak is bigger than mine! Why did they give me this small steak?! Hold it. Waiter! Why did you give me the small steak!?" "Jack. Here. Take my steak." "No! I don't want your steak! They gave me the small steak!"


Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs)


Shecky Greene: He walked into a restaurant one day and the maitre'd said, "Mr. Carter, what would like to order that you're going to send back?" (laughs)


Kliph Nesteroff: A lot of people don't remember Jack Carter today.


Shecky Greene: They don't remember, but he was big in his day. He had a show for DuMont at the same time that Gleason had a show. He's brilliant as he memorizes lyrics, he was in shows, he was a great talent! A great, great talent!


Kliph Nesteroff: He used to everywhere. He was one every show and he was on television all the time.


Shecky Greene: Yes, well, he was out of New York and everything else and he was a big talent! He wasn't just a piece of shit talent, he was a big talent.


Kliph Nesteroff: You did a great impression of Danny Thomas in your act. Did you know Danny well?

Shecky Greene: Very well. Danny and I were very close friends and Danny was a wonderful man. I said this to somebody the other day. I can't remember if i said it to you or somebody else, but people say to me "egomaniac." You have to have, in order to be in front of the public, there has to be a certain amount of ego to get you to do these things. Danny Thomas had that. Danny Thomas, other than the nose, was a very handsome man. Had they cut his nose he would have looked like Cary Grant. But if they would have cut his nose he wouldn't have had a career. "We're strong for Tol-EEE-dohhhhh!" But Danny and I were good friends and he was a nice man.


Kliph Nesteroff: How about Jack E. Leonard?


Shecky Greene: Ohhhhhh, I loved Jack E. Leonard. We were close friends. Jack E. Leonard was also from Chicago. Near the end he came to Vegas. He married a woman and moved to Vegas. He called me every morning and I'd go down and have coffee with him. He was going through hell. He should never have married this girl. It was terrible, terrible thing.

Kliph Nesteroff: I think she's still alive. There's a Jack E. Leonard website and it says she is writing a book about him.


Shecky Greene: What could she write a book about him? She knew nothing about him! What book could she write! These fucking people are nuts, you know! People are fucking nuts!


Kliph Nesteroff: What were his feelings toward Don Rickles when he came on the scene?


Shecky Greene: Let me tell you, he loved Rickles in the beginning. Then he began to realize that people were comparing them. In reality, there was nothing to it. Rickles was not like Jack E. Leonard and Jack E. Leonard was not like Rickles. Just the insult type of thing. I'm not putting down Don, because we're good friends, but it used to bother Jack E. and it used to bother me that it bothered Jack! I said to Jack, "He's nothing like you! What is it that's driving you crazy?" The thing that was driving him crazy was that Rickles got his start in the lounge and there just weren't enough places for them to both work. Consequently, Rickles was getting popular and that did bother him. He'd say, "Shecky, he's doing me! He's doing me!" I'd say, "Jack, he's not doing you. Your doing you and he's doing him!" I watched the demise of Jack E. Leonard. When he moved out of New York and he couldn't go to Danny's Hideaway, where he went all the time, that killed him. There was nothing like that in Vegas for him. He thought he'd come to Vegas and Vegas was going to be a big thing for him. It wasn't. And marrying that woman was a big mistake. But I loved him.

Kliph Nesteroff: When Don Rickles' success started to usurp his own that deflated him.


Shecky Greene: Sure! Rickles has got a wonderful character and it's what he looks like. Don Rickles - you want to love him because he looks like he has Downs Syndrome. Take a look at him! Am I right or wrong?


Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs) Joe E. Lewis.


Shecky Greene: Joe E. Lewis was one of the great people of the world. "Behind every successful man is a beautiful behind!"


Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs) How about Gene Baylos?


Shecky Greene: Oh, I loved Gene. Poor Gene. Near the end he didn't know what napkin to steal. He got so bad that he would go down to The Friar's Club and he'd fill his pockets with butter packets to take home - forgetting about the butter melting and it was ninety degrees outside. Why don't you write about that kind of stuff! What happens to us comedians in later years and how we wind up crawling on the fucking floor!


Kliph Nesteroff: (laughs)

Shecky Greene: Well, now you know everything that I know. You've racked my brain.


Kliph Nesteroff: Well, I appreciate it. I realize it has been a long interview.


Shecky Greene: Naw, Kliph, I enjoyed it.


Kliph Nesteroff: And I will send you this clip of you talking about dexadrine on The Dean Martin Show.


Shecky Greene: I want to see that!